Archive:July, 2005

I am the prototype of the blog of the future

I recently watched an episode of Knight Rider for the first time in about 20 years, and all I can say is that if this is indeed created, then for God’s sake destroy any imperfect prototypes. The last thing we need is a renegade research station on skiis acting like KARR.

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

Not saying it’s not a useful skill

New $100 Doll Smarter Than Your Daughter: “A CREEPY new doll called Amazing Amanda from Playmates Toys (on sale next month for $100) is more intelligent that your child — so intelligent she can “recognize” her own poop.” I don’t think I have any comment for this.

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

The Citizen’s Guide to Refusing New York Subway Searches

The fact that this page exists, and is not a joke, is enough to make you weep for the land of the free. Why aren’t people more outraged by this? Facism begins by exaggerating the threats to your safety and security and asking you to compromise in order to meet those threats. As the man […]

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

Putting for the Fences

Putting for the Fences :
What makes the words ‘’professional miniature golfer’’ so funny? Is it the fact that the 167 members of the Professional Putters Association and the 80-odd members of the U.S. ProMiniGolf Association compete so hard for so little money?
That and the fact that you can’t help of tiny, golf-ball-sized humunculi in outrageous […]

Wednesday, July 27th, 2005

U.S. is a Battlefield: “We are strong, no one can tell us we’re wrong”

Nice knowing you, Bill of Rights. It’s been awesome.

Friday, July 22nd, 2005

Nostalgia Isn’t What It Used to Be

Two business professors, Robert Schindler at Rutgers and Morris Holbrook at Columbia, have spent years conducting studies in which they ask hundreds of subjects between the ages of 20 and 80 to compare current and past cultural offerings… The professors also asked a diverse group of subjects to rate celebrities, movies and cars from across […]

Friday, July 22nd, 2005

Frank, Ray and Jacues

Coming in at #1 on the list of things I didn’t think I was going to find randomly on the internet today is Frank Black interviewing Ray Bradbury and talking about Jacques Tati.

Frank Black: The one filmmaker who has been able to make me cry is Jaques Tati.
Ray Bradbury: Well, I knew him very well, […]

Monday, July 18th, 2005

We subdued him repeatedly

The Awful Forums - Memories of an old Chicago Cop

I was a cop under hizzoner da mayor 66-70. And back then there were two important things to know about Chicago.
First, the government and the police and fire departments were corrupt. For example, while one fireman is checking out the smoke in your living room another […]

Saturday, July 16th, 2005

Oh the huge vanity

Paper pulls classic hoax on vanity publishers:
Mohammed Aissaoui, of Le Figaro, said: “These committees should have been surprised at the literary quality, at the style of this text and at the absence of faults, which contrast sharply with what they usually receive.”

Friday, July 15th, 2005

Rove’s Jam

I declare this phenomenal song from the upcoming My Morning Jacket album to be the song of the summer: Off The Record. Because songs that leave no jams unkicked-out while being inadvertantly topical cannot be denied.

Friday, July 15th, 2005

Obituary Details

All of her breath leaked out.

Wednesday, July 13th, 2005

Nas has $2 million?

The word on the street has it that Nas got into a bidding war with Puffity Duffity Daddy over what is supposed to be the Holy Grail of beats, a beat by uber-producers the Neptunes. The final bid? $2 million smackers. Nas paid $2 million dollars for a drum track. But it’s all about the […]

Friday, July 8th, 2005

If (trailer > movie) Then Download

AMC TV Monsterfest Classic Horror Trailers

Friday, July 8th, 2005

Years from now, we’ll remember this as the first salvo in what was to become the 2014 WSOP Doping Scandal

Paul Philips:
This year, I have a new chemical weapon: Modafinil. Like Adderall, it stimulates wakefulness and enhances focus but without the annoying side effects of an amphetamine—for me, reduced appetite and insomnia. Drugs are not a substitute for healthy living habits, but the WSOP isn’t a spa. With Modafinil, I feel well-rested even on limited […]

Friday, July 8th, 2005

I might could start speaking that way

Other grammatical features are less widely known but are no less important. SAE [Southern American English] also modifies the English auxiliary system by allowing for the use of more than one modal in a verb phrase. For instance, for most Southerners “I might could leave work early today” is a grammatically acceptable sentence. It translates […]

Thursday, July 7th, 2005

Potential democracy in action

I haven’t seen the show, but I’m thinking of starting up one of those famously effectual online petitions and sending it to Bravo. It will be called “Stop Being Bobby Brown.”
Which is odd, because while I don’t want to watch it I’m not sure I want it to stop.

Tuesday, July 5th, 2005

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